4 day weekend!

I was very spoiled this weekend with a beautiful four day weekend!  I even had 2 days off from the bakery which basically meant 2 days of NOTHING!  For those of you that really know my daily life... this is extreemly rare.  However this has also re-introduced me to the sofa.   The sofa and I are very good friends... Today in fact I even allowed myself to take a nap with my favorite blanket and kindle in hand.  My body has really enjoyed these two days of bliss... but tomorrow i'm glad to return back to the rut I call life.  I'm not sure my sofa will miss me or not :(

a new old sweater...

I think that it is official, I have to much.  Yesterday I went into my closet and pulled out a cream sweater.  Not a new activity as it is well know that I have many sweaters.  However what makes this sweater different is the fact that it still had its tags on it.  Attached to he tag was the receipt which means it was a Christmas gift... great however I didn't receive a cream sweater this year!!  Upon looking at the receipt I learned that the sweater has been sitting in my closet since 2008... over 2 years I have stared at this sweater and have ignored it.  I'm not proud of this... It's really making me think about how I am blessed enough to have been given such a great life and a lot of the time I take advantage of this and just take it for granted... My goal is to find a way to change this about myself...

fantastic new pencil sharpener!

all was good again today in the first grade.  we have a new pencil sharpener.  i know that this might sound minimal to some of you however, this is a BIG deal in first grade.  after everything that happened this week the pencil sharpener was a great way to end the week!



Alzheimer's

Today my world as it is known changed forever.  33 years of what I thought was a perfect life was completely changed.  My grandmother was diagnosed as having Alzheimer's... It's such an ugly term.  My grandfather has cancer and yet this doesn't bother me nearly as much as Alzheimer's.  Cancer can be fixed in a lot of cases, however there is no cure for Alzheimer's.  Yes there are medications that can be taken to help slow down the process but in the end there will be a day that my grandmother no longer knows me.  The idea of this saddens me.  None of this is my grandmothers fault, it's all part of getting old.  I can't say just yet how I will plan to handle any of this. 
After learning of this sad news I returned back to school to finish the day out.  I thought that by going back to school I would return back to 'normal' and be able to forget what is going on.  All was fine for about 15 minutes when someone wanted their pencil sharpened.  All normal things in first grade!  However when I went to plug the sharpener in it no longer works.  I'm not sure what happened but this caused me to break down and to sob in my classroom.  Thank God for a strong little girl in my room she was able to go and get another adult to take over for a me.  What a day!  Every day from today will be a new challenge and I look forward to this battle... because it will be a fight from here on!

personal wall..

I wonder why I build a wall around my heart.  I don't tend to allow people in to learn what makes me tick of sorts.  I can at least admit that I do this, but for some reason I don't know how to stop it.  I have had a great friend try many times to break this wall... and sadly they've given up.  I often wonder what if...

Evesdropping...

I found myself feeling sorry for a complete stranger today.  I was sitting at the doctors office waiting for my grandfather to be seen when a lady came in.  Nothing strange about this but I over heard the lady saying that she couldn't fill out the form because she can't read.  This lady was as old as my mom if not older and I couldn't help but wonder how she escaped school without the gift of knowing how to read.  How did/do educators allow this to happen?  She took the forms and went and did what she could.  She asked the guy sitting next to her for help and he ignored her.  At which point the lady from behind the counter came over to ask if she needed help and together they filled the papers out together.   If I had been sitting closer I would have helped this lady if the lady hadn't come from behind the counter.  I'm thankful that she saw this patient was in need and did her job by helping her.  Maybe the older gentleman had a reason for not wanting to help her... I'm not to say because I don't know him.. Maybe he's deaf!

On another note today proved to be a great day with my grandfather.  We drove all around half of south jersey ... sharing breakfast together and making sure to get flowers for my grandmother.  My grandfather is the one who is sick.... and yet he takes time today to remember that today is his 60th wedding anniversary and he wanted something to make her day better.  He's a great man and for this I find myself falling more in love with him as a rolemodle... I know i'm a lucky girl to have him!

follow your heart... at all cost.

This picture sums life up for me.  I was floating around online and came across this.... I was always taught to follow my heart and let it lead me in life.  At times this has caused me heartache however following my heart has also lead me to some wonder people and moments in life.   I'm a believer that everything always happens for a reason and that God has given them each of the chance to live life and explore all the good and even the bad. 

I don't always have a good day... I'm real I know that nobody always has a good day.  I live a very blessed life and I'm aware of this.  I try my best to not take advantage of this and do my best to live a full life.  I think its a shame that people waste the opportunity that is given to each and everyone of us... SHAME on you!

i'm loved....

i'm not sure if everyone knows... i know i haven't said much about this but my grandfather has cancer.  he had surgery last week and now we're just in the waiting to see if everything is ok... it's not that easy when your mind is floating with fear but i have to depend on my faith and hope that all works out for the best.... what else can i do?  i don't wanna dwell upon the fear yet i don't want to block it completly out of my mind because i have to face what might be the case.  still it's an ugly mind set... tomorrow, monday, i'm going to take him to and from the doctors to have his bandages removed... basically this means i'm taking a day off from school and setting in the doctors office tomorrow with my kindle while they clean his bandaids up...

this is such a role reverse for me... it's not the first time i've had to take care of someone else.. it's just the first time that i've had to take care of my grandfather... this is the man that took me to my girl scout father daughter dances... the man who has been everything to me... God has really blessed me.. i'm 33 and i have been given the worlds greatest grandfather... a man who is so kind and loving to me ... who has never judged me for what i've done with my life... the man who just loves me for me... i don't mind being a GP (grampas pet) not one bit... in fact i wear this title with honor... yet this doesn't lessen my fear of what could be.....

at least i can speak

this puppy of mine is spoiled... many times i've gone into my bedroom to find Mr Bell curled up under the blanket... i do wish my life was easy as he has it! but as i type that i know that i am glad that i'm not him... i mean he can't speak and i'm sure at moments he has found himself frustrated not being able to get his point across.. but i can't say this for sure since he hasn't told me so! :)



to share or not to share... that is the question

ok, so i have shared this new idea with a handful of people... i have laughed at the idea of one of them sqinting at the writing and trying to figure out just what i have said... this for some reason or another amuses me... i'm sorry if this hurts your feelings... i had another friend ask me why it is i don't use capital letters... i'm not really sure why i don't... it just doesn't happen that often... basically i just like the period mark and three of them at a time... it's just how i write when i'm flooding my thoughts out... is it how i write all the time no, just when it's for me! 

i have a new 'hobby' of sorts... i am using FOTO msgr... and for all you anti iphone uses... it's an app.. i was telling my 'friend' how i made this blog up and he said i really am not a geek for doing this! that made me feel a tad better about this whole blog thing!

my thoughts tend to flood at moments... and then at other moments they shut off... WHY IS THAT?!

Random Thoughts of Today...

i'm not sure how long i'll be doing this however somedays i have a lot of information that i'd like to share.  not so much information but just random thoughts... thoughts that might make some people say what did she mean by that?  or did she really say that?  yes i know that sometimes people wonder about what i might mean by some of my 'strange' or 'wacky' thoughts as someone calls them... but they are my thoughts and nobody can steal them from me.. and now i'm going to share them all!!! well at least all the ones that i am able to remember because i feel as if my brain is mush at the end of some days and saddly that robs me some of my 'zingers'  it's really a shame because i'm sure that sometimes the good ones are lost...