Friday, April 8, 2011

Do I wish to be?





Sometimes I wish I could just fly away from everything that is going on in my life.  Butterflies have such a whimsical life.  They just flutter through life seemingly without a care in the world.  They're as light as can be with nothing holding them down.  Am I the only person who wishes that sometimes life was easier?  I'm not asking that everything in my life just be whisked away, however I would like things to slow down at some times.  I'd personally love to float in and out of some of the issues I've been facing.  My Grandmother is on the mend.  This is the best news personally... I have visited a hospital or a rehab for the last 3 weeks almost daily.  The nurses at Marlton Virtua were so kind to my family... for one they put up with us and with my crazy grandmother.  I mean nothing mean by calling her a "crazy" grandmother.  I know that she is unable to control her rants.  I have never been on the receiving end of one of these rants.  I've been lucky I suppose but I also know that my luck could run out one day.  One afternoon I might be on the receiving end of her grumpy day.  Just going to keep my fingers crossed that it doesn't happen any time soon!

My grandmother is not my only bump in the road.  I have written before that my grandfather is ill.  I'm unsure if I have said that he has a knee that just doesn't work.  He hobbles down the hallway on his way to visit gran daily.  He shows up 2 or 3 times a day to see her which is wonderful.  I'm sure that he's lonely at home alone.  Yesterday his knee gave out on him while visiting my grandmother.  He ended up collapsing in the hallway.  Thank God that this happened while he was in a location that someone was able to help him quickly.  Him falling at home alone scares me.  This is nothing that I can fear instead I have to live life and so does he.  Yes I'm a GP *grampas pet* therefore I'm sure that I tend to worry more about him than some of my other relatives.  When I voiced my concerns to my family this past week about worrying about Grampa... I was asked why would I worry about him?  Ummmmmmmmmm maybe because he's old and alone?  Or maybe because I love him.  All good answers I thought.

I hope that I'm not coming off as I'm complaining because really I'm not.  I know that i'm blessed to have my grandparents at my age.  I'm aware that people don't live forever however I'm not ready to face any loss.   I have voiced this over and over to the people that listen to me.  I've been spoiled my whole life to have such a great family... So maybe my life is better than a being a butterfly. 


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