i'd like to return back to normal please!

sometimes i catch myself wanting to scream BUT OUT!

we all know that i haven't spoken to my aunt mary for a few years... and what peaceful years they have been.  well with everything that is going on with my grandmother i was forced into seeing her as well as many other family members that i don't tend to see.  this hasn't been an easy time in fact it's been a self draining time... i visit with my grandmother 5 days a week... only skipping 2 because of obligations that i'm unable to change... and i tend to stay about an hour.. with me closing the family out on sunday as it has become a customary event.  this week i had some health issues myself and yet there i was making sure that i took the time to go and visit with her... i did take care of what was needed on my end but it wasn't a painfree experience.. basically i feel as if i bend over backwards to make sure that i allow myself even 15 minutes of seeing her.... 15 minutes that is our time that nobody can steal from me... her memory will steal her knowledge of the event of us being together but i'm ok with this since it's how life has to be.
today i found out that the aunt that i haven't broken away from has scheduled me to have Easter dinner at the faclitiy with my grandmother.... now yes this is something that i have thought about in the past few days... yet i dont need to be told by her that it is something that i will be doing.  it gets better... it turns out that she bought my ticket for me ... we're not talking a ton of money here.. 15$ to have dinner with my grandmother and avoiding taking her out and throwing a fit when i would have to return her back to the 'home' (i don't like that term for this place but nothing else seems right :( ) i wanted to scream at my aunt for going above my head and planning my Easter with my grandmother... but i bit my tounge and went with the whole thing as i said good night to my grandmother and walked out of the room...

i just want to return back to how things use to be... and i don't see this happening... it really makes me sad.